Birthday Party

Rex was nine and had a party at home for all the boys in his class. I, of course volunteered to help out with my whistle - I consider myself quite the expert now after coaching mini rugby. I thought to keep it simple - football and Dial a Pizza - my princess baked a cake.
Except I'd forgotten one universal truth - that all boys are not created equal. One did not want to play football. He said, "I'm not a sporty kind of guy. I prefer to watch the television."
Another one walked our dog all afternoon.
And as for the rest - one arrived with an arsenal of guns and ran around shooting the footballers, so two footballers grabbed the (plastic) cricket stumps to use as weapons against him. Before long it was a full blown war - I blew and blew on my whistle but nobody was listening to me.
And they ate all the pizza before I got even one slice of it.