Mouthy Kids

It was the Abu Dhabi Mini's Rugby Tournament this week. We took a team of 15 boys. 10 dads travelled; we had one and a half boys to look after each. My extra half a boy was more trouble than my whole one son. To start with he said, "You're that rubbish coach from last year." Then he kept wandering off, and hiding from me. He wouldn't eat the food the rest of the boys were eating. He was interested in playing rugby for about two minutes.
I fail to understand why he came with us. He certainly spoiled my weekend, and I don't think he had much fun either.

Pushy Parent

For my sins I coach Junior Rugby. I blow a whistle and teach the Under 8's how to throw and catch, and we play touch. In all the years I've been coaching I've always felt faintly irritated with super-enthusiastic dads, standing on the side lines, shouting impossible instructions to their sons. I have always had to bite my tongue to stop shouting, "If you want to play rugby, the training session for the Golden Oldies is Tuesday night..."
This year my son Rex moved up into a contact game and I've turned into the sort of parent I hate. In fact I'm worse than the average dad - today Rex was playing scrum half and I actually went on to the pitch to tell him he was standing in the wrong place; I told him to move to the base of the scrum.
They say, don't they, that it's your own bad habits that you cannot tolerate in other people.

Broken Man

I am a broken man. Running around in 40 degrees, in a skin tight rugby jersey, carrying an extra couple of stone - what was I thinking? I could have had a heart attack, or a stroke. So exhausted after the game I couldn't even face a beer. Woke up in the middle of the night with cramp in my leg. Woke up this morning with gout in my foot.
If I was horse they'd shoot me.
I'm going to have to get fit in an air conditioned environment. I'm going to have to join a gym.

Rugby

Just off to play a game of rugby. Has this rugby jersey shrunk? I'm sure it fitted the last time I wore it.